nomadic_cliffhanger's Xanga

The Other Side

Wed, 15 Jul 2009 07:35:00 GMT

Standing at the edge, a young bride peers into hazy nothingness. A swinging bridge in front and a yawning abyss beneath – did she know what she was doing?

“Come hither little one, let me whisper in your ears.”, a voice looms out of the darkness.

Danger, risk and adventure being synonymous with her name, she leans further still. This day is about her – for once. Not the white gown, not the make-up - her beauty is defined by a quiet look of determination.

Her eyes display intent to reach the other side, marred only by confused thoughts of “across or below?”

She sighs and takes a step forward, engulfed by a swirling mist. Thoughts and emotions hit her hard, memories try throwing her off-balance. She shudders, extends her hand to grip a railing that isn’t there. Eyes wide, she takes a deep breath, “I have to do this.”

“Nightmare or dream come true – take your pick. Face your past and fears. There is no escape, until you’ve seen it all over again.”, whispers the faceless voice.

From the mist emerges a shadowy shape, a figure she was unprepared for – as always.

“Red roses in full bloom
Beautiful, but watch those wicked thorns
The ones that seek to protect and defend
Even against the most harmless
Seek the ones that you sought once
There may be no other time”

Thus said, the misty figure disappears. She looks at her hands, at the bouquet of white roses in her hand, watching them as they slowly stain red.

“Beautiful pain..Yes! That’s what it is, this relationship you longed to end but could never let go. Pandora’s box opens again – let’s see what you get.”

Suddenly, she hears laughter, of a man happy and content. But it chills her bones. “No. Not you. Again.”

“Yes it is I – the Joker
  The albatross that you can never hide
  Spiels of laughter define my very existence
  And the undying mockery I made out of you
  It is I who keeps you awake night after night
  For this is not a cruel joke, just life.”

And he blends into the thick fog, his laughter dying alongside. Yet, it echoes in her ears – never forgotten, never remembered. An anguish that she will never be able to let go, that none will let her lay in peace.

“Can you place your tourniquet higher still? Higher and higher till you reach your throat..Squeeze it tight..Relief forever!”

She takes another step forward, heavy heart and weary head, only to collapse mid way of her destination. Head bowed low, she cries, cries for help – with not a soul to hear her.

“A cursed being – a plague, a disease
A dark alleyway, an unlit highway
A pinch of cyanide, an IV of hope
A 100 ft drop without a harness
Only, this is not an amusement park
Arguments, counter arguments
Justifications and twisted facts
No courtroom, yet sessions adjourn
Verdict’s out, unvocal but enforced
The silver lining long gone, thunder rolls on
An eerie blankness, cold comfort
Songs unsung, dreams unravelled
A merry go round gone wrong
Stuck in motion, in the same place
Inertia, no wheels turning
Or simply paralysis.”

Thus ends her soliloquy, but not her fight. Scrambling to her feet, she looks toward her destination. But in all the confusion, she has lost her sense of direction – not knowing front from back. There she stands, wide-eyed and aghast, till this day.

No, she won’t risk the walk, there’s too much at stake.

“For this blushing bride, was this the most important walk in her life? Probably. The most difficult walk – definitely.”

26 Lines....

Sun, 14 Dec 2008 09:59:33 GMT

At first there was darkness, cold yet inviting

A moonless night with no purpose or direction

Whilst sunlight was a stark reminder of existence

So we hid behind a carefully crafted veil

It was a drop of wine, when our sanity spilt over the brim

Subtle hints where recognition failed

Waiving every warning sign, rushing along

Rearranging messy lives, realizing reality

Dancing images in a puddle of water

Vaguely familiar – a broken reflection?

And a sudden clarity of thought, void of hesitation

A story emerged, fiction with facts none but us could see

Shedding inhibitions, and fake masks

Taking the long journey back to innocence

Surprisingly shortened by a shadowy figure – an alter self

Raging fires threatened to burn our castle

How they underestimated the rain that would fall

Quenching our thirst, and dampening their hopes

Binding us together, stronger and closer than ever before

Intimacy as never felt before, a trust to beat all odds

A death wish, a kiss to instill life in this hollow body

Ending with a pleasant jolt, of dying in your eyes

Now the moonlight feels warm against my cold skin

And each whisper of breeze touches my soul

The heat seems mild, a halo that surrounds me

Breathing your name till I breathe my last

FIFA 2006 - an alternate reality

Sun, 14 Dec 2008 09:54:24 GMT

Heads turned as she walked into the restaurant – chicly dressed, her slender figure stood out. She tossed her hair and walked over to her date, high heels clicking on the marble.

‘Hi! I’m Jean. You must be Giovanni?’, she said as she sat down in front of him. Dressed in black formals, he took her breath away – tall, dark and handsome. And those eyes…….

‘Nice place you’ve chosen. Very classy.’, she proffered and starting the conversation. ‘Yes! It was the only place that stays open till the game ends’, he replied as the LCD screen came alive with a direct transmission from Germany.

“The soccer final? Oh, the violence of it all. Not stylish at all!’ she said.

‘Style isn’t on the field. It’s off it. Right now, its only about the game’, his eyes riveted on the screen as the match kicked off.

‘The game? So that’s why we’re here, instead of a romantic sojourn together?’

‘Romance? I’ve only just met you!’, he exclaimed

‘Let’s just order shall we? Wine and Cheese?’, she suggested. He made a face and said, ‘Cheese is for mice! Lets ask for a risotto. I’ve heard it’s very good here, and red wine!’ And without waiting for an answer, he placed the order. She sat there stunned, just as Italy scored their first goal.

‘How could you order without asking me?, she fumed

‘What was there to ask? I wanted to order for the lady.’, he justified.

‘Oh really? Unfortunately, I happen to be allergic to rice. So now, I’ll order something else!’, she stated as France equaled Italy’s score.

They ate in silence, till the penalties. As Italy won 5-3, she said, ‘Would you like to come home for some coffee?’.

He got up, ‘I don’t think you’d accept no as an answer’, and Italy lifted the cup in triumph.

Erased Epistles

Fri, 04 Jan 2008 01:47:01 GMT

And time stood still. Yet again.

They stood face to face, on either side of a chasm – deep and wide. Looking into each other’s eyes, for some spark of recognition. They failed to see it.

‘I..umm..what do I call you?…’, said the emotion
‘Names are not required here. It would complicate things more.’ spoke the rationale.

They stood, reaching out with their eyes – but not connecting.

‘Don’t do this. We can co-exist, like before.’
‘There is a possibility. But the risk is too high. You won’t be able to handle it.’
‘Goddamn you! You can’t read into my mind..my actions…You just don’t know.’, shrieked the emotion.
‘Yes. You’re right. I can’t. Maybe I never could. Or we would never be here now.’ the rationale replied.

They stood at the edges of the chasm, while the bridge lay unused. The same one where they had once stood together, while the world rushed by.

The rationale spoke first, ‘Did you lead me to the center only to push me off?’
‘No, I never intended…’
‘Intent is deceptive. Did you not know the vortex of thought would destroy me?’

The emotion stood shocked – openly displaying feelings for the first time.

‘Don’t worry. Your intent was well disguised. Bravo! For you have succeeded. You made me feel emotion.’ continued the rationale. ‘You … gave me strength and took it away in an instant. You led me to the top and threw me off the cliff. You led me to the lake, and drowned me in it. Yes, you destroyed me.’

‘I am your culprit. Forgive me. There was no malice, no hatred – just ego. It shattered me too, and only you can put the scattered pieces together. Please, don’t do this. Give me another chance – and this time, I won’t pull you down., and the emotion hung it’s head in shame.

‘Don’t blame yourself. I let you rule me. I put myself on self-destruct. You were merely a catalyst. I have no options left to gain. Don’t berate yourself over this. There’s too much in you that you can use, if you choose to, and choose wisely. I never knew you could be a cold strategist. Maybe you could use it in a positive way, for once. There are others waiting for you, or whom you are waiting on. Let me not stop you.’ quavered the rationale.

A tear fell from the rationale’s eyes – the emotion it had not want to show.
But it went unnoticed.
They stood there, the bridge weakening with every passing moment.

‘What do you want?’ the emotion asked
‘You’
‘What do you not want?’ asked the emotion again
‘You’, stated the rationale simply. And smiled. ‘Don’t look so puzzled. It doesn’t go down well as an impression. It’s simple enough to deduce.’
‘Precisely’, came the reply.

The rationale gave a sharp look of cognition. The emotion, a look of alarm.

‘I’ve let you go. Do as you please. If you need a tad bit of rationality, don’t hesitate to ask me. But try finding it in yourself before you ask. For I still haven’t let go of you.’

So said the rationale, and stood staring at a point in the distant horizon. The emotion looked around at the destruction, not realizing the magnitude. The writings on stone seemed to fade away, erasing sacred epistles.

And time stood still. Yet again.

innocence...guilt

Fri, 02 Nov 2007 09:09:13 GMT

innocent till proven guilty...
guess all of us have heard this phrase at least once in our lifetime...
but, how many of us have actually thought over it....
regarded its meaning....its consequences....

there are so many of us, who suffer.. quietly, without a whimper ..
take up a punishment met out to them....which is someone else's doing....
yet - we choose to muffle the screams....

but hang on....this is rhetoric..
how about considering the other side of the situation....

'guilty till proven innocent' ??
how come that has never been considered...
guess we all keep running to prove each other guilty...
spinning an intricate web of lies and deceit.....
while all it takes..to get off the blame...
is to accept it in the first place....
so we fight wars with each other....
never quite finding 'peace' within ourselves....
but breaking up into tiny pieces...
that we cant be gathered again.....

ahh..well..this wasnt supposed to look like a piece of poetry or prose...just that i like the spacing!
gives me the illusion of 'space'

till whenever next....try proving your innocence...before you hang someone else

black holes.....

Thu, 18 Oct 2007 13:19:28 GMT

********
Ever wondered how it would be
In that vast emptiness
A black, cold expanse
Drawing you in, deeper in each time
Till you suffocate, and feel the pressure
Of the words that you said
And heard, cherished, loved
Pulling you to the vortex
The crux of the situation
A man hole of self creation
Self destruction and insinuation
Hush! As you reach that core
Inevitable, free falling, yet subtle
The darkness surrounds you
With no ray of light, or silver lining
Wait...till you have a companion
For support, and to find a way out
Realisation brings despair,
And then bliss,
To let the wine flow freely
With no goblets to drink from
It falls like rain...yet different
Warm and self fulfilling
Whilst you wait your turn
An ocean of memory flashes
No time to collect your thoughts
Or reminisce the past
Bury the present
As your future catches up with you...

**********

astronomy is fascinating!!! the stars..moon....n vast expanse of space where they exist

subliminal...

Fri, 05 Oct 2007 18:11:47 GMT

..perception...
...persuasion...
.....feelings....
.......hypocrisy
.........attitude
..........discretion

yup..theres too much that can be changed...with the mere attachment of the word 'subliminal' as a prefix..

Oft debated, talked about, written off, deciphered, created (?) ...sublime messages are a part of our everyday...
and what's more....we fall for them every single time..yet try and prove their non existence.
That just goes to show, that we acknowledge their existence, yet choose to brush it under the carpet....
'coz if we truly, 'superaminally' (the opposite of subliminal) believed that they didn't exist...we would just be ignorant..
like we are about most other things in the universe.

Nah,. this isn't another crazy rant about advertising (or marketing) taking over the world.
It's just 'a' rant..amongst all the others that discuss the core existence of 'judgement'....

'How does that relate to this?', you might ask...it is ..it is ..it is....
now that's for you to figure out.....subliminally or otherwise...

Winning a lost game

Thu, 24 May 2007 03:09:48 GMT

Still, still as a graveyard night
No rustling leaves, or echoing footsteps
Cold shadows for company
That seek forgiveness, in return for shelter
On and on I walk, searching
Amongst the crumbling tombstones
For a sign, a ray of hope, of isolation
’Traitor’, etched on a wooden crucifix
The earth still fresh, piled high, attempting
To call out to the Heavens, struggling
To catch a passing breeze, and breaking free
All in vain, all in vain, over and over again
Reminiscing – the shattered wine glasses, the broken china
Yet not a sound was heard, no pieces scattered
Blame the invisible hand that lost control
No flowers, no caretaker to tend this empty grave,
A piercing scream brings me to my knees,
Pain so subtle, so agonizing, so right, so wrong
My own screams fill the air, fill my senses
Deeper and deeper I sink into the fresh earth
Holding the crucifix, pulling myself out
The earth is soft, beckoning, willing
The last of my will cracks, and I close my eyes
‘Traitor’ – the last word I see before the final tug
Down under, I open my eyes, tentatively looking
Darkness, stretching across, unfathomable
I swim, in the void, my happy creation
Isolated, free, home at last
Drops of water fall from above, seething
With rage, never quenched, forcing
‘Provoke Me’ scream all my senses
Give me a reason to raise my head
To come out of my shell, my world
Only to fight you? To fight resistance?
Sadistic pleasure maybe? For both sides
Now I have learnt the rules of the game
And I shall not let you win, not this time
Revel in your tries to break my spirit
You can do no harm, not this time around
Walk, stamp on the earth over my grave
While I live on, in my own world, down under
I bequeath the ‘win’ to you, your ultimate loss

Summer Break......yeah right!

Sat, 19 May 2007 03:28:25 GMT

Summer vacations...one time of the year that a student REALLY looks forward to...and here I am, absolutely wasting my vacation......I am so bored....like..really!!
Tried to make a list of things I have done thus far in the vacation...here's what it looks like :
1. Got a new job (kudos!)
2. Enrolled myself in driving school
3. Started work for our college fest - Malhar
4. Started work for the photo exhibition - TryPOD
5. Hogged on food and now complain of putting on weight
6. Owing to pt. 5, joined the swimming pool and started jogging
7. Planned a few surprises, executed only two
8. Random acts - photo shoots, yelling and fighting with some people, reading books
9. Started reading Hitch Hiker's Guide AGAIN (thanks sneha!)
10. Watch 'The Apprentice' and 'Heroes' on a regular basis.Not to mention 'Hells Kitchen'

And, here's a list of things I had planned to do, and did not...
1. Study for CAT 2007
2. Lose weight
3. Make the photo collage I've been wanting to for quite some time
4. Spend more time with friends
5. Learn the bass (SidSin...you're dead!)
6. Fly off to Delhi, if only for a day
7. Update my ipod
8. Download music (how lazy am I)
9. Aerosmith Concert - which is now happening in Bangalore (arghhhh!!)
10. Missed episodes of 'Heroes' and 'Hells Kitchen' ...Damn!

So yeah, I am not too happy with the way this vacation has shaped up. I have been too busy, and if you ask me "with what?", I won't have an answer. WTF? And now, the aspect of TY looms ahead of me, which I look upon with dread and deep loathing.
I seek answers to questions which are questionable in their own right...and then fail to find satisfactory answers to either.
That's it. I have had it. It's back to my diet and exercise regime for me. Less than a month for college to re-open. Ahhh..the sheer nonsense of it all!
As someone very rightly said and still says - CRAP! (copyrighted)

Offensive....

Tue, 08 May 2007 18:11:33 GMT

Us humans have no respect..for life...whatsoever. Really.....

Read this article today's Mirror - 16 stray dogs burnt alive at a sterilization centre, only because the officials there thought that the dogs had rabies..
Fact - The law states that a rabid dog should be kept in isolation and allowed to die a natural death. Only in special circumstances, is a vet allowed to put the dog to sleep. Burning a dog to death, is not permitted!

Its appalling - the whole situation. I mean, really, have we lost all sense and feeling? Do we feel no pain, no sadness, no shame, no guilt, nothing at all??

Yesterday, 16 animals were brutally murdered. Last week, 6 buffaloes died in a blaze started when the truck they were in collided with a gasoline truck. The driver and cleaner ran away, forgetting to cut the rope that tied the animals together.They couldn't even try and run for safety. Last year, 3 boys pelted a stray dog with stones, injuring it seriously. And when they couldn't take the dog's whining, they silenced it forever, by running over its' head in their car.

It saddens me...the state of humanity. It really does! These poor animals have nothing to fight back with, except their teeth, and those too are of no use in circumstances like these. Our society cribs about people dying in fires, but what about these hapless animals? They can't even protest, can't voice their thoughts.

One of the tabloids asked public opinion on what the fate of the offenders should be...I say, gag them...and burn them. No, I am not as cruel as they were. I don't mean setting them afire. Just a touch of a burning cigarette is enough. Words won't mean anything to them. They would fall on deaf ears, just as those dogs' whines and yelps would have. And anyway, 'Actions speak louder than words'. How very true....irony...!

Our 'faithful' friends don't have a voice. Isn't it about time that we showed our committment, by being their voice now? They do deserve justice after all!